3 Reasons You Are Always Unhappy


Life situations undoubtedly have the power to make life not worthy living. However, most of the times, unhappiness is a result of our own habits and thought life. This article will discuss 3 common destructive habits that create anxiety and happiness in your life.

1. Paying too much attention on perfection

Do you always have to strive for perfection in your endeavors?

Is it necessary for you to live in a certain way to conform to society expectations?

Then you are not realistic and happiness will escape your grasp. Unrealistic expectations are bound to cause unnecessary anxiety and you may feel discouraged yet possibly you had achieved good results. You may continue incessantly on this trend when you always feel discouraged when something is not near perfect.

How do you rise above this habit?
Well, there are a few things you can do to battle this habit and enjoy peace of mind:
Set deadlines. It is important to have a deadline when you start a project. Maybe you are working on a novel or eBook and your effort to complete the project stagnate because you always want perfection. A deadline will help you avoid the urge to polish every little detail.
Good is enough. Striving for personal perfection always ends up in missed deadlines. Good is always enough because it doesn’t give you room to laze around. Simply accept that good is enough and you will finish your projects timely.

2.  Listening to negative people

We co-exist with each other in society for social and economic growth. What you watch, read and who you hang out with has a lasting effect on your thought life and general attitude on life. In fact, this is the reason most people today find it extremely hard to stay happy with all the negative voices belittling their progress.

How do you rise above this habit?
Spend more time with positive people and you will notice remarkable transformation in your life. Read more inspiring books and watch meaningful TV shows for better personal growth geared towards happiness and peace of mind. A good place to start is by reading a personal development blog or listening to a positive audio book as you enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning instead of spending too much time on social media.

3. Focusing on past events too much.
Do you spend a considerable amount of time reliving past conflicts and bad relationships? Focusing too much on past events and how things went wrong at the workplace or in your love relationship is not helpful. On the other hand, living in the future hinders your ability to enjoy what is happening now – the present.

How do you rise above this habit?
Although it is close to impossible not to ponder on what the future holds as well on past events, it is far beneficial to accept that you have no power over the past. Dwelling on things that happened is never a solution. You should always avoid getting stuck in past or future events too much.  As a suggestion, you can practice breathing techniques to help you enjoy all the things that align you to the present.

5 Awesome Teachings about Life by Bruce Lee


As an iconic martial art artist and famous actor, Bruce Lee also had inspiring views on life. Listed below are my favorite teachings from the awesome fighter.

1. What is your thought life now?

This is a fundamental element that typically affects our behavior and reason. What do your thoughts reflect about your personality and your interactions in society? And do they really match your goals in life and ego? You may be subconsciously unaware of how your thought life influences your life. This article therefore serves as a useful reminder on the value and importance of having a positive thought life.

2.  Simplicity is king

In your quest to enhance your qualify of life you may be tempted to have more. The problem however, is that you may neither have the energy nor time to add more stuff or accomplish more, as clutter often creates more anxiety and stress in your life. You should eliminate clutter and negative thoughts to have more energy for more important tasks that add value to your life. When you get rid of clutter, your inner self is nourished and you become happier.

3. Study yourself in your interactions with others

Studying your interactions with others in your ‘alone time’ can provide great insight on where you need to improve. Although this process of self awareness may likely produce self doubting thoughts, it can go a long way in enhancing your self-esteem. How well you interact with others in society can teach you amazing things about yourself.

4.  Avoid perfectionism

Your ego always enjoys any available opportunity to divide and conquer. What does this really mean? Well, do you always have the feeling or need to be better than others, or prettier, or clever? You should keep in mind that emotions and thoughts are usually overwhelming but they should never dictate how you live your life as they are ever changing. You therefore have the power not to take your emotions too seriously or disregard them altogether when your ego rears its ugly head.

5. Never seek the validation of others

You feel that you need more to satisfy your ego. A simple way of demonstrating this is by constantly seeking validation from others. The validation is shortly lived and soon you want more. Do you feel not pretty or successful enough? Do you always enjoy the ‘comfort’ validation offers? The problem with this habit is that it affects your thought life and you will often find yourself in an emotional roller coaster. A good way to get rid of this habit is to set personal expectations and appreciate your achievements more often. Life is too short to get stuck in the rut of seeking validation. After all, nobody else knows the power in you and your abilities. Inner validation not only nourishes your mental health but enhances your confidence as well.

4 Surefire Tips on How To Improve Your Self-Esteem


You agree with me that most of us just wish we were more confident in various circumstances.

But why is it so hard?

Your friend may say for instance, ‘’Hey, be confident, pal!’’. Nonetheless, this statement may not be helpful to someone with low-self esteem. In this post, you will learn invaluable tips on how to become more confident and assertive in life.

1. Action vs. thinking too much

A simple way to build self-esteem is to act rather than spending too much time thinking. Work on a project to its completion. Lazing on the couch and thinking instead of acting is likely to demoralize you and make you feel worse. Here are simple ways to help you take action more often.

  • Live in the present. Just appreciate the joy of living in the moment and do what is required of you instead of wasting your valuable time over thinking. This tip is effective because it creates a state whereby you feel less emotional resistance as you work. Additionally, if offers a focused and relaxed atmosphere to complete your tasks. A simple way to ensure you live in the present for improved focus in your tasks is by breathing in and out regularly.
  • Take it easy. Nobody gets out alive my friend. A common thing that instils in you the fear to act is that you always have to do something with seriousness. This can make a project appear too scary or difficult. You need to relax and acknowledge that problems are just real in your mind. With a relaxed mind, your endeavours will become easier and lighter.

2. Identify your fear and face it head on

  • Find more experiences. Seek out more experiences that offer an opportunity to face your fear. A simple way to achieve this is by being curious. In essence, fear encloses your boundaries in life and acts as a barrier. It is therefore important to break these barriers more often.
  • Acknowledge that fear stems from wrongful interpretation. By misjudging circumstances or silly miscommunication, our subconscious automatically interprets these negative messages. As we all know, our subconscious memory affects our behaviour. As mentioned earlier on, you should not take things too seriously since thoughts are ever changing.

3. Prepare

Researching or educating yourself is important. For instance, you can rehearse your speech before an event. With effective research and breathing skills, you will become more present and calm. So prior preparation in anything you do will improve your confidence. However, you should not get stuck in this phase as it may hamper your ability to take action.

4. We all fail, move on!

Failure is part of life. The world will not end because you failed. Failure is something useful for personal development and improved self confidence. Here are reasons why failure is an important phase in life:

  • Makes you stronger. Failure builds character and you learn that it is part of life. In a way, you become desensitized to it. You are now able to handle circumstances with confidence because even if you failed, at least you were brave enough to take a chance.
  • Succeeding becomes easier. Each failure increases your chance to succeed because you learn from mistakes each time.

Social Media or Social Decay?


Social media, a powerful tool that connects friends and takes businesses to new heights is evidently not a passing trend. Social media, Facebook to be precise is without doubt an extension to having a hard on toward the right path (getting laid and other forms of Social evils). Let me explain this concept in layman’s language. Take this scenario for instance; although it often starts sheepishly, it’s not rocket science to figure out where this exchange is going.

Facebook conversation between a girl and a boy. The boy is a stranger or a long lost friend, or vice versa (desperate times)

Boy: ‘’Wow, you are cute… I like’’, kisses.
Girl:  ‘’Awwww, thanx dear.. wink wink’’
Boy:  ‘’ Can you add me as your friend, my friend request thingy has been disabled’’ (classic move)
Girl:  ‘’Yeah right, anyway it won’t hurt, sure you can be my friend.

GAME ON: The lad only has to put in a little effort and score.

Who then do we blame for social media decay?

Simple!

1. Fathers
2. Society

1.Fathers

Are you too busy to spend quality time with your attention-starved daughter? Sadly, fathers who supposedly are the head of the family are live in color battling the many youthful temptations middle crisis brings. To what end? This creates an emotional void in the family and the daughter is the most affected because by default, girls crave attention – the need to feed love and sense of identity..

I can never overemphasize this point.

             A father’s presence will never be substituted by material wealth. Spending time with your children is priceless.

An emotionally starved girl will always live on an emotional roller-coaster, which in turn is projected on her relationships and interactions with others. She will go at great lengths to get the attention she rightly deserves from someone (A father figure) to say the least. This is where social media shows its ugly head, providing a platform where she can constantly seek validation on her beauty from friends, and even strangers, something that still baffles me.

2. Society

Ever watched a TV advert that is not even closely related to the product? Today, most TV ads have picture perfect models and it’s obvious that creating a sexual tone makes the product more appealing. TV programs, on the other hand glorify the thrill of short-live sexual escapades among young adults with an idealistic view of relationships and life in general. Excessive media consumption slowly and steadily corrupts our values, and immorality is an extension of what today is the ‘’in thing’’ – SOCIAL MEDIA. As mentioned earlier on, social media is a fun base for like-minded people who over represent themselves and seek feedback on how great their lives are, and constantly find the need to post ‘’like me pics’’. Are we as a species reached a point where face-to- face interaction is not cherished? Does our obsession with social media affect our personality and outlook on life? Is social media decay the root cause of high divorce cases in society? It’s high time we sober up and find direction in our short-lived life.

5 Steps to Stay Sane and Happy


With the turbulent economy and the ever increasing cost of basic commodities, constant worry has almost become a normalcy in every household. Today it is easier to become cynical, jaded and it is even simpler to entertain negativity. As a result, most people are in a constant pursuit of effective tools that can help them achieve success, fulfillment and happiness. Many folks for instance are actively seeking all different types of avenues geared toward finding optimism in life. On the other hand, skeptics are quick to point out that positive living is merely a passive form of pursing cheerfulness. Most folks however do not recognize that positive living is like looking for a needle in the haystack if you are not committed to make the necessary changes in your life. Without further ado, here are 5 steps to live a happy life today;

1. Never dwell on yesterday

You should utilize past life experiences with wisdom. In other words, instead of spending your precious time thinking what you could have done yesterday, focus on what awaits you tomorrow. Stay sane and avoid feeling depressed on what you did yesterday because there is nothing you can do about it.

2. Focus on now

Make an effort to always anticipate something great waiting to happen in your life. You can reflect on your life joys and have a mental photograph of your strengths. This mental photograph is a powerful tool that can help you stay positive and motivated in any situation regardless of how you feel.

3. Take time to exercise

Exercise is not as challenging as what people make it to be. In fact, there are many exercises you can do at home without having to pay expensive gym membership. Find time to do an activity that uplifts your mood. As they say, exercise has both physical and mental benefits. A short walk in your neighborhood is an amazing way to kick-start your day.

happy

4. Avoid negative people

You should spend less time and ultimately avoid people who are constantly second-guessing anything positive. Find friends and acquaintances that are positive. When this becomes your way of life, these people will keep your engine running and there will be no room in your mind for negativity whatsoever.

5. Read inspirational materials every day

Reading positive materials is a great way to stay positive and motivated. There are countless inspirational e-books online that offer invaluable tips on how to live a positive life. Ensure you read something positive in the morning and before you retire to bed and you will see a remarkable change in your life.

Is Online Dating Social Media Crime?


They say love is complicated – that which every person longs for in our short lived life. Without the feeling of being loved, life would certainly be miserable and meaningless. The internet has changed our attitudes as a society and globalization is gradually shaping our culture, and we often pay more attention to the many benefits of modern technology, and ponder little on the harm it poses. The internet has supposedly improved human interaction as you can instantly chat with a friend in New York from Africa. The perks for growth and communication therefore seem boundless.

Online dating has suddenly been embraced by society as it seems as the best solution to our much needed emotional problems. After all, why should you feel left out and yet you have reliable internet connection? A common notion is that most people never get along simply because they don’t share common interests. However, with online dating, it is easy to ensure you are compatible with someone before you start dating. A perfect way to make a relationship more ‘real’- don’t you think?

online dating

So in online dating, the applicant simply has to jot down his or her dislikes, hair color, height, what genre of movies they love and so forth, and then the system magically shows a detailed list of potential matches.

So, what really are the the perceived benefits of online dating?

It is easy to find your true love because you can learn everything about your potential mate even before you decide to inbox them.
You have endless possibilities if you have internet connection. Your true love may be from China for all you know.
You can know someone at the comfort of your home without actually getting to meet them.

Although these perceived benefits of online dating seem tempting, I personally believe that online dating is only a fad.

Dishonesty of the highest levels

Research shows that at least 1 in 5 people who actively participate in dating sites are in a relationship. With online dating, you just email each other yet you don’t know who is on the other end, their sexual orientation or gender – until you finally meet them. In most cases, disappointment is inevitable. Additionally, most people exaggerate their interests or hobbies to make their lives seem cool and interesting. Online dating sites would be great if people were as interesting as they think they are.

Real men ask women out on dates

Men have become new age wimps with no guts and sense of pride. Since it takes ‘balls’ to ask girls out on dates, men now prefer to hid behind emails and over complement chicks they have never met. On the other hand, chicks in revealing outfits ‘supposedly’ only want friendship and boldly indicate on their profile they are off the market –either engaged or married.

Online dating is not real

Basically a profile is what a person thinks of himself and that is why most folks love online dating. You can easily create multiple personas and become whoever you want. When a ‘cool’ chick says for example ‘’ I am pretty’’, ‘’down-to- earth’’ – my personal favorite, and ‘’outgoing’’. You may say ‘’ she is childish after spending time with her’’. You will not know this until the day you decide to have lunch or coffee, which to your disappointment could be after months of hiding behind shallow emails exchanging countless ‘’LOLs’’ and  ‘’I miss you very much’’. A child will cry when you hide a toy because he is emotionally attached to it. How then is it possible to miss someone you have never met? I personally believe that online dating is a waste of your precious time that you could have otherwise spend meeting new people in your area.

Facebook and Narcissism – Where Do You Fall?


Narcissism can be defined as extreme admiration and love for one self. Facebook users who have plenty of friends, regularly post photos and update their status every hour are downright narcissist. Facebook gives narcissists an ideal platform to get admiration and sense of self-worth through comments, and in turn they become the epitome of attention. Facebook users are grouped into two; the grandiose exhibition type and entitlement/explosiveness type. In the latter (grandiose exhibition type) – the person seeks to become the center of attention. On the other hand, people who exhibit entitlement traits are willing to go to great lengths to seek attention and respect they assume they rightly deserve.

Regular checking your Facebook or Twitter may be a normal routine but now research questions whether people truly find joy in sharing their personal issues with the rest of the world. People in my generation embrace Social technology and use it for narcissism and self-promotion behavior. Constantly networking on Social websites is closely associated with an inflated ego, commonly seen when ‘’attention seekers’’ post lots of pictures at parties with friends to appear cool and fun.

How many times have you checked your Facebook or Twitter account today?